The way I see it the problem with G*d is that he is not human, he has none of our weakness, none of our malice, no hatred, & no hidden agenda.
No matter how you worship or what you call him, her, or them, they are what we can’t be. We can emulate them but we can’t be them.
So my court date is in 4 days, where I will face a jury of my peers, where I will find out if there is “Justice” or not for myself or my dogs. I have had so many emotions, mostly anger & outrage, but there have times also where I would’ve rather have been dead.
The only thing that has kept me going is my faith in my Creator, in my Father & the question has been asked of me “What do you believe in?” “What is your faith” It is an easy question to answer, a little harder to understand for some. I was raised first with my Aleut culture/religion, then with Kahuna, then I had Catholic beat into me & I learned to fear G*d so much so that I began to hate him, I was in & out of Jewish foster homes & always felt a strong connection to that, attended the Mormon church & was trained as a Native American Medicine Woman, now I am interfaith Minister with the ULC Church. Everyone’s walk with their higher power is different, as different as we all are, just as in a family with 6 children, all of those children have a unique & different relationship with their parents. I am Native, European, Mediterranian, Polynesian, & Middle Eastern, in descent, I have learned & taught my children a bit of each culture. I follow 2 more closely than the others because that is where I find my own truth, the Native American & the Jewish sides have always been close to my heart, but if you listen to the scholars it is believed that the Native Americans are one of the lost tribes of Israel.
So by now you’ve heard some of my tirades & thought to yourself: “She is a Minister?” Yep I am, being a Minister does not make me perfect, doesn’t even give the promise of being close to perfect. I am still a human being, I cuss, I smoke cigarettes & I’m pretty sure I would drink like a sailor if I wasn’t allergic to booze, I am envious, sometimes I judge others, sometimes I am just plain hateful & quite frankly there are days when I have NO love or compassion for my fellow man… & then wouldn’t you know it!!! This is right about the time when G*d comes & puts his nose right in the middle of MY business, because he is just a busy body like that. He manages to throw up a beautiful rainbow, or even two, sometimes a sunrise or a sunset, or even worse yet my eyes wander up & see a glorious mountain. Then he plays really dirty & throws up an Angel without wings (AKA another human being) who is so incredibly good that you just can’t deny his existence, or throws you tiny little miracles… or in my case sometimes he just smacks you upside the head with a magnificent act of kindness just when you think your world has come to a screeching halt & all is lost.
Yeah that guy just bugs me some days, even when I yell at him, scream at him, cuss at him, when I tell him to go away & leave me alone, even when I am trying my hardest to feel sorry for myself, & hate the world. He is always there, his presence surrounds me. I never have to question if he is real, but I do question his tactics. I have had one of the WORST lives I have ever heard of, & I have had the best life a soul could ever have in human skin: Life IS the oxymoron & faith is the only real answer.
So I would ask now, whether you pray to Buddah, Allah, G*d, the Creator, or even the Forest, please pray for me now. Pray for justice for me & release for my animals, pray that I can undo the damage they may have caused them, pray that they are still alive, pray that I win this victory so I can win for 1000’s of other animals who will most certainly die at the hands of the cruel & sadistic people at the Everett Animal Shelter. Pray that I win my tort Claim so I can get the big money lawyers to fight the BSL in Everett. Pray that the something would soften the hearts of the shelter workers who so eagerly end the lives of animals because they are born in the wrong skin, pray to soften the hearts of the council members to lift this cruel & unusual punishment & discrimination of the innocent. Most of all pray for my soul, that I don’t become as hateful as these people, there would be no point in living if that happens. Since their case is based on false testimony from Rose Adams Beutler & lies they have also created, I believe I stand a chance wrapped in the Armor of G*d… otherwise known as Prayer, Faith & Hope.
This evening begins Tisha B’Av, so I will not be responding to emails or phone calls, or be accepting company & today I will be busy getting ready for the fast, so it may take a while for me to respond to you. Thank you for your patience & understanding.