There is a song by Jewel that describes my life, what it has been. what it will be. It is the only thing that makes sense of the insanity of a world that makes no sense to me.
Pieces Of You lyrics
She’s an ugly girl, does it make you want to kill her?
She’s an ugly girl, do you want to kick in her face?
She’s an ugly girl, she doesn’t pose a threat.
She’s an ugly girl, does she make you feel safe?
Ugly girl, ugly girl, do you hate her
‘Cause she’s pieces of you?
She’s a pretty girl, does she make you think nasty thoughts?
She’s a pretty girl, do you want to tie her down?
She’s a pretty girl, do you call her a bitch?
She’s a pretty girl, did she sleep with your whole town?
Pretty girl, pretty girl, do you hate her
‘Cause she’s pieces of you?
You say he’s a faggot, does it make you want to hurt him?
You say he’s a faggot, do you want to kick in his brain?
You say he’s a faggot, does he make you sick to our stomach?
You say he’s a faggot, are you afraid you’re just the same?
Faggot, Faggot, do you hate him
‘Cause he’s pieces of you?
You say he’s a Jew, does it mean that he’s tight?
You say he’s a Jew, do you want to hurt his kids tonight?
You say he’s a Jew, he’ll never wear that funny hat again.
You say he’s a Jew, as though being born were a sin.
Oh Jew, oh Jew, do you hate him
‘Cause he’s pieces of you?
I talk about the discrimination aspect of this case with Everett. In the legal sense, but it goes so much deeper than that.
The idiotic thing is that I had thought I had left the memories of growing up in Everett far behind me. I didn’t even pick up on it in TEN YEARS of being harassed by this woman (((DUH))) until an attorney was reading my case file & pointed it out to me after reading her reports, I even argued with him about it, he finally just looked at me & smiled & said “You are just precious, please don’t stop having your blind faith in humanity”. Whatever… I thought about it, tried to deny it, tried to chalk it up to something else, but finally just for my own sanity I posted an ad in craigslist, a generic ad, asking if anyone else had had any trouble in Snohomish County with Animal Control & then crap balls!!! 92 responses ALL from Everett, all but 1 from minorities, & I won’t tell you the amount that were this woman, that is for my Tort Claim.
As odd as this sounds you go through almost a type of grief when this happens, disbelief, (check) anger, (check), sorrow (check) shame (check) & finally somewhere you come to terms with the whole thing, or not.
The hardest part of all this to realize that George, my precious little old man, was tortured, abused, mutilated & finally discarded, when he arrived at the shelter he was bleeding from his rectum & unable to walk, that my poor little baby Soffie was battered, bloody, missing teeth & hypothermic when she arrived at the shelter when she left me safe, warm & dry, & only God & those son of a bitches know WHY my sweet beautiful Hoki was having multiple seizures when they arrived at the shelter 7 hours after they were taken from me.
Because I fought back, because I spoke up, & because I was born in the wrong skin. Because some fat putrid gelatinous disgusting piece of crap hateful woman can’t control her weight, or her appearance, or her pigment. Whether it is because some little brown girl stole her boyfriend in Junior High, or whether she truly believes she is somehow superior, or she just hates herself that much I just don’t know. I know she is mean, she is cruel, & she is ugly, not just outside, but deep inside. Knowing it doesn’t change it, knowing it doesn’t help my dogs & kitty, or change what ever they had to go through, knowing it doesn’t help me sleep at night. Knowing it can never take the pain or the terror they went through away. Knowing it know doesn’t change the fact that I couldn’t protect them.
It has been 10 months…279 days since I have held them, since I have smelled them, since I have woken up with them all next to me, since I have shared a morning coffee & pastry with them, or had or Friday night home cooked meal with them. When I walk through the door they are not there to greet me, there is no one to watch me as I take out the groceries as if I am the greatest “hunter” in the world. I can not watch them sleep & wonder what great adventures they are dreaming of. I don’t know if they are even alive, or if someone is comforting them, or if they are sleeping in a nice warm bed. I wonder & cry every night for them. What hurts the most is that they think I gave them away willingly that day, that they don’t understand why I let those people hurt them or why I didn’t come to save them… Day after day they have probably wondered & as hard as this is for me, it has to be so much worse for them because no one can explain it to them, & since part of the City Of Everett’s ploy to “break” me is to keep me away from them by not allowing me to see them or to even telling me if they are alive or not, I can’t even comfort them if they are still alive, & every time I pass the dump I have to wonder if their precious little bodies have long rotted away with the garbage, or if they were sold to a rendering plant & dumped into a vat with a downer cows, pigs & roadkill & if some dog somewhere in America is eating what is left of them.
Tonight I finally got some sleep, but I dreamed, I dreamed of their terrified screams, of all the things I imagined they have done to them, it doesn’t take much imagination to know why a dog would be bleeding from his rectum, or how another dog would be bloody & missing teeth, or why they would be wet & hypothermic when the shelter is right next to a river. It doesn’t take any imagination to know why only my own 3 dogs suffered & my 2 foster dogs were fine.
I know I have shut down, I know my friends out here haven’t heard from me. I am gearing up for court & then there is this: One of the tricks the prosecution can use is if I talk to you before court, they can say I am witness tampering, seriously, so if I talk to anyone they can try to railroad me even further. They have people from UC Berkley & Michigan helping them & a couple of big firms that I already sent info to, so they are in conflict. Basically this is an I will get you before you get me game, again all designed to break me down. Plus they spend about 20 to 50 HOURS a week on my web site & my blog tracking, copying & pasting everything I write or say. All the games, all the bull, in the end will all backfire on them. Instead of just admitting THEY were wrong & THEY broke the law, they will do to me what they did to the family of the man one of their officers shot in cold blood.
I just had my whole case at about 98K so far, yes NINETY-EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS, but I never factored in the amount of time they spend on my page, every week day & I guess the weekends don’t count when they are at home. So now hold on to your wallets (or just hide them right now!)
20 to 50 hours per week spent on my pages = 1250 to 3500 PER WEEK in wages,
5,000 to 14,000 PER MONTH in wages
This has been going on for 10 months so realistically we are looking at 125,000 to 350,000 in wages that are being used to peruse my web pages & blogs, considering that the prosecutor makes 10K a month. (Or more) so this might be a very conservative estimate, because we also don’t know how long they are spending on my case intra-office. When they are not parked on my page.
So there you have it… They have spent between 223K to 438K on my case, a misdemeanor, because it is NOT THEIR MONEY, it belongs to the citizens of Everett, the people who go to work every day & pay their taxes, the homeowners, the business owners, & when they suck them dry they’ll raise levies & taxes & BLAME the economy.
Also keep in mind the city attorney & the council have been working on this as well, they have already had 3 meetings about my case & the city attorney is writing the briefs as well at times, so factor in their wages & we also have other city employees looking up all of my info & sitting on my pages as well as the city council on my pages all the damn time. WHY? Because no one has ever challenged them before, I could set a very dangerous precedent by doing what I am doing, & I guaren-damn-tee ya no one has ever made an entire web page about what a bunch of putzes they are, & never this close to election time. Elections are still a month away, I have plenty of time to stir their little pots