REBLOGGED FROM BIG CATS ROAR
*Jurisdiction of the Justice Court:
“The Texas Constitution requires that each county in the State establish between one and eight justice of the peace precincts, depending upon the population of the county. Also, depending on the population of the precinct, either one or two justice of the peace courts are to be established in each precinct. There are approximately 820 justice of the peace courts in Texas.
Justice of the peace courts have original jurisdiction in Class C misdemeanor criminal cases, which are less serious minor offenses. These courts also have jurisdiction of minor civil matters. A justice of the peace may issue search or arrest warrants, and may serve as the coroner in counties where there is no provision for a medical examiner. These courts also function as small claims courts.”
This factious tale based on a real-life experience is about ‘Moron County’ which does not exist however, here’s the real-life rule of government code for the county court of Moron County:
*“The County Court of ‘Moron County’ has the general jurisdiction of a probate court, general criminal jurisdiction, and juvenile jurisdiction as provided by Section 00.00 BUT has NO other civil jurisdiction.” -Texas Government Code, Section 00.000″
[In other words, this counties court jurisdiction is limited and has NO civil jurisdiction making it’s actual civil jurisdiction below that of the JP Court. Therefore, without a County Court at Law, they should send civil cases to the District Court. The County Judge, like the JP Judge is untrained in constitutional law and the position held by a lay person-there is case law the supports this as fact however, this is a fictional tale and no other reference required to understand and to provide this as fact.]
The following is a parody, a lampoon, a satire, or what-have-you; and not to be construed as a true incident or happening in any form -HOWEVER, it is based on the true facts of the case and actually happened; impossible to be denied…but they will try…
Fran: “Hey George, what ya doin?”
George: “Nothing much, you?”
Fran: “Just thinkin’…How about we hold a mock court under them trees over yonder? Better yet, let’s do what the county does and hold a ‘Kangaroo Court’; We can be honest about it and call it a Kangaroo Court, LOL!!”
George: “That’s a nice spot; good as any I reckon. Sounds like fun, I’m game if you are”
Fran: “You want to play Judge or me?”
George: “Why not call in Judge Puke, it’ll give him a break from that stuffy old county courthouse in town?”
Fran: “I think he likes that stuffy old courthouse. But hey, might as well have a civil trial here as there. We don’t need Puke, won’t be as much fun…You or I can play judge just as good as he can.”
George: “I was just joking…He doesn’t have jurisdiction over any civil trial. Then again, neither do we! You’re right, it might be fun.”
Fran: “Yeah, I know but we will proclaim a ‘Kangaroo Court Trial’; he can’t, he has to try and hide it!!!” <chuckle>”Judges are granted immunity; not so much as a hand slap…Don’t that beat all while everyone else takes the rap”
George: “Hell, this is Moron County, State and Federal Laws don’t count here anyway; don’t ya know anything? So our ‘Kangaroo Trial’ should hold up in the Appellate Court same as his, don’t ya know?”
Fran: “Let’s do it…OK, so who is first up on the docket?”
George: “Hard to say…there are just so many darn victims to choose from!!!”
Fran: “I know…”
The evening proceeded on as did the unlawful and unconstitutional law enforcement of Moron County…Another victim (or victims) will likely be arrested soon, his or her civil liberties abused, and the worst of it…
..The county will get away with it…well, think they will get away with it…OK, they thought they had…
Just snoop around somebody’s yard long enough and you can DIG UP something, practically anything will do, and somehow, be enabled to pin some sort of charges on just about anyone; ANYTIME!!! Never mind the trespassing laws, we got immunity…never mind there were/are signs everywhere on the property. There are state and federal laws!!! However, nothing is applicable in the land of Moron. We can claim ‘extenuating circumstances’ even though over there was more than enough time to secure a warrant-hilarious!
All they have to do is quote some law that says they have to allow inspections for this or that and get their boot in the gate. And, just for good measure, when writing up the warrant affidavit, they can always phone somebody who knows some good gossip about the party they want to lynch -er, try. Then add it in as if they did their research. Their buddy, the judge will like that light reading, and it’ll put him in the right frame of “guilty till proven innocent”-HA! For the upcoming ‘kangaroo court trial’ that the judge will be hearing. Doesn’t really matter if someone trespasses to collect the so-called ‘evidence’. Just flash a badge, make sure the ‘victim’ sees the gun and handcuffs, and move your hand toward both the gun and the hand cuffs a few times; shine your 100k flashlight in their eyes, and bingo… cooperation all the way!-extortion. The JP Judge will rubber-stamp the warrant anyway, simply ’cause ‘he likes your style’ cause the JP Judge is not allowed to hear Class A misdemeanors (*see above) the JP Judge now feels so all important-he is a layman with no training or law degree… whoopee…a high profile case and the DA gave it to me…
Then throw their sorry arse(s) in jail, Texas-style while law enforcement digs deeper into some poor schmuck’s underwear drawers, diary, and whatnot. That beats a pig-roast for some great evening fun any day! If they happen to have some booze in the house, ‘help yourself boys’ while you’re at it. What’re they gonna do, sue ya for drinking their hooch, lol. Toss the empties out in the yard and say they were there when you came…doesn’t matter that we lie…er, can’t remember anything… Any other goodies you guys can pick up while you’re there, help yourself. Nobody’s home to deny you the pleasure, so you might as well; not a damn thing they can do about it-HA! In a few years you can unveil your treasures…or just go sell them, no one will ever know a thing…Don’t forget to take the trustees from the jail along to help out and we can always blame them…never mind we brought them there…not our fault…er, problem.
You can hold them in the hoosegow till the trial, so they can’t gather anything to defend themselves, as if they could anyway, it’s open and close. They won’t even know exactly what they’re charged with till they get into the courtroom that we’ve told them is a mere ’formality’, so no way they can be prepared for what’s in store for them har-har…Pick and choose whatever you want to throw at them; what great fun! Get the judge to set bail higher than even Hannibal Lecter coulda’ paid, and you’ve got ‘em eating outta yer hand! And if you figure you still might not have enough for a criminal conviction, you can always trick them into an agreement that we’re not gonna honor anyways so, what he heck…change it to a civil seizure; way too funny for us …not so much for our victims <giggle>but who cares?!? No one living in Moron County will say a thing about it or against this action or we can come after them too.
Civil seizure is a great little thing where you can grab up just about anything and claim it was somehow illegal, contraband, or just plumb wrong color. You did grab a few extra things in the raid, didn’t you? You get to charge them for the storage of their stuff, hahahaha, even if you give it away or bury it out by the old mill. Them rules, the ones about preserving evidence and such are just for sissies anyway. Even if some higher-up does write up a ‘Hold Order’, you can just say, “Whoops! Got that about an hour too late, sorry!” -Good for a belly laugh or two over a beer down at Uncle Shiner’s Bar. The judge will love it-he’s ‘clean’ and enjoying the fun…Hope he doesn’t find out he’s not supposed to hear Class A misdemeanors and his ruling doesn’t mean anything <chuckle> He does everything I tell him to do and no one looking, protesting out actions or checking up on us!!!
During the raid, don’t forget to take pictures -or better yet, take home videos. You’d be surprised what you can say the shots are of, we’ll turn off the sound and ask the deputy to narrate it and the judge will believe him and not suspect a thing! Justice is blind ya know, so you better tell the judge what he sees, simple. Be sure to quote the laws or statutes that favor you and ignore the ones that don’t, then again we can just make it all up like we did with this case to begin with. If the other guy brings them up, object and say that’s irrelevant. Good ole boy Judge will side with you every time! You can’t lose; What a hoot!!!
George: ”Tell ya what, Fran- You take the first trial. Call it a “hearing,” and when they appeal, tell them they have to take the appeal to me. I’ve got as much jurisdiction to hear it as the County Court would. Never mind that I’m deaf. You don’t have to be a good listener to hear what you’ve already decided anyway.”
Fran: “So then what? Is it going to be criminal or civil?”
George: “Well, lemme put it this way- First it’ll be criminal, then we can morph it to civil. And if somebody later complains, we just say it was actually ‘quasi-civil’. That should shut ‘em up. They’ll never be able to find a definition for that one! Har-har! No such animal exists…Judge doesn’t know…”
Fran: “Hold on a sec. Back up to the beginning. We’d need some publicity ,humm you know we need lots of publicity so no one the wiser, they print anything as true. Gotta let the rubes out there think it’s actually a big bad thing and the poor schmucks screwed up…big time. Make it look like they are public enemy number one and we’re the hard-working heroes protecting the populace from the likes of them… Remember what Barnum said about suckers?”
George: “Okay, so we invite my cousin who works at the TV station to come along for an exclusive. She can bring a camera guy who knows how to get great shots of what a messy bathroom they have, and maybe get a shot of their personal computer too, to prove whatever we decide that’s going to mean…Hell maybe they can use the station’s helicopter and they’ll pee themselves as we circle over and scare their animals, get them all riled up, ya know it might work out well!! And if we could land nearby at the sheriff’s parents property, we won’t get in any trouble even if we ‘stampede the cows’ next door or disrupt everyone’s life…”
Fran: “But wouldn’t that be trespassing on the reporter’s part that is, since they aren’t law enforcement or necessary to the raid -I mean the warrant and the pre-arranged “instant” arrest?”
George: “Naw. We invite them, and if these schmucks say a word, we threaten to arrest them again, even though we know we’re going to anyway! <giggle> that’s the best part of all! News reporting is more important than any privacy rights, you know. This is about Moron County, after all! The suckers out there need to know the “truth”; even if we have to make it all up and lie. If they read it or see it on the boob tube, they’ll believe it, they always do. We’ll ruin these people and have their property!”
Fran: “Wow! Sounds like a lot of fun! I better fix my make up for the camera and change my clothes. How about if we get some muscle from out-of-county to come join the fun?”
George: “Sure, why not? The average Joe out there doesn’t know a county warrant must be served only by officers and help from within the same county. And the judge sure won’t care.”
Fran: “The best part, they don’t know that County Court has no jurisdiction to hear any civil cases either, but we can always push that through easily enough. Nobody seems to know or care that without the official court seal, a county judge’s signature on a document is as good as my granddaughter’s finger paint scribbles, but that too gets ignored! I think I’ll bring my Gatling gun on the raid, and maybe strap on some dud grenades on top of my bullet-proof vest, just for great publicity! Make it look like the old couple are a bunch of Branch Davidians barricading themselves in! Can we toss a couple flash-and-stun grenades too?”
George: “If you have ‘em. But those things are kinda expensive. I’d save them for another raid. Maybe they have some dead animals we can dig up just like on CSI. Maybe we can make them do it so there will be no question about who did it; we can threaten to charge them for a backhoe should we need to bring one in…after all, we have coffee to drink and phone calls to make we can’t get our hands dirty. But if we are prosecuting the case, I wonder how ethical it is for us to be involved in the sneak peak -what the fools would call trespassing- and the warrant service as well, then go to court as judge and jury…? gee, too bad.”
Fran: “Jury? Who says we’ll let them have a jury? People think they are entitled to a jury-we’ll give them nothing and no one can prove we set them up…We’ll claim it takes us a month to round up enough folks for a jury, and we don’t have that kind of time; blame that on the Clerk of the Court; I think we have one to blame that on so piss on the Constitutional guarantee of juries. That’s not absolute. A local DA said so himself. Just jail ‘em, try ‘em, and lynch ‘em. This is Moron County, you know! Tell the judge the law is whatever you think it should be, and he’ll go along with you, what does he know? After all, he’s not a lawyer!”
George: “So… Any thoughts as to ‘who’ we can go after for our kangaroo court?”
Fran: “Hell, yeah…. How about Jane Doe? I think that she’s administrator of that fake animal rescue that operates out of a PO Box, and moonlights as an ‘expert witness’ even tho she doesn’t know heads or tails about what she’s testifying to. We could raid her ‘puppy mill’ at the Brothel Road place and seize the dogs she breeds in her little ‘puppy mill’ and if there aren’t any puppies we can call her a hoarder; either way, we win. If she’s not in the process of feeding them at the moment, or if they poop from fright when they see us, we can scream cruelty, and there we go! Damn, we can’t sell the dogs we confiscate, but we can give them to some obscure “shelter” that will then sell them, and we’re home free, they always like it when you make it easy for them to have merchandise to sell. All done at Taxpayer expense. That is, unless they die in our woodshed first. Then we just sweep it all under the carpet, doesn’t matter what happens after we have custody and then we can go after some other poor schmuck.”
George: “Just to reinforce the cruelty charge, we can also claim the dogs have heart worm, long toe nails, need their teeth cleaned, and their fur was matted and the dogs were peeing on each other. No one knows that something like 90% of all dogs in the South will test positive for it at one time or another, so we can’t lose on that one either! The bleeding-heart judge will buy all of this as neglect! And if she has a chicken or two, take them as well. We could have them for dinner and say we thought they might have come from out-of-state and could be diseased, so out of the goodness of our hearts, we did them a favor and ATE the evidence; whose to say otherwise!?!”
Fran: “Golly Gee. What fun; this could be a dinner theater. Nice to have all this power in a small-town in Texas with laws that are hard to interpret and other judges believe us! Elections coming up soon too….I think I’ll run for County Judge for real, no one else is or wants the crummy job! They just don’t realize judges have immunity and can get away with it cause no one knows there is an Incompetency Law here in Texas and judges get immunity no matter what”
The original text was written after learning about the laws here in Texas and how they can twist things, lie and then, take your property. Give it away to a member of the family Klan that lives here…even to a no good lying bastard, bank robbing, CONVICTED FELON…no matter that he never qualified to own that property or those animals and that you did nothing wrong in the first place. So what that a felon is not allowed to own a gun for community protection…They accomplished their goal…That was three years ago…has anything changed?…Not sure, they just had elections with new people coming in who might not agree but pretty sure they will do their best to hide the truth, isn’t that their job?!?
Sometimes you just have to step back for a breather and regroup…Fred and I both had a bit of fun with this parody of our life here three years ago and the community Welcome Wagon showed up-this actually happened. You might even remember it-made big news…circulated around the world….brought the press in tow. We don’t go out much anymore, we rarely smile, I don’t sleep or when I do it’s nightmares about ‘THIS’. We wish for a day when there will be no nightmares to wake up from. To go outside with your cup of coffee and visit with your neighbors. We remember what we took for granted and what the rest of you enjoy and might even take for granted yourselves. It was so nice to wander out and not worry about looking over your shoulder because someone is out to get you; no longer trusting law enforcement and fearing them is rather difficult to deal with. There is no law when lawlessness exists…and children lie for a family member’s benefit…sad really knowing she will have to live with it the rest of her life…not even God will forgive them for this with 1/2 my animals dead-euthanized or received far less than appropriate care-some suffered and some died but the bank robber got what he was after and apparently no one the wiser ..”Can you donate and help save those poor animals souls”-”A win for the animals” -WHAT BULLSHIT!!! -Too many Died for this so I don’t think those animals consider this a win!!!
We have changed the name of this place and people to save embarrassing the guilty (-the people who broke the law to do this) -as if that were possible or they never would have done it.
Just how do they sleep at night with the blood on their hands?!?
Have a nice day and please, for us, if not for yourself, enjoy your freedoms and your civil liberties…go to www.Hertiage.org and get your free copy of the Constitution of the United States. Read it from cover to cover and be thankful that our forefathers did so to protect us even when others don’t respect those words or remember the oaths they took as civil servants.
*From the Texas Constitution
**Disclaimer attached to this blog…Things said are of my opinion and the opinion of others…Stay tuned and follow this blog…Here me ROAR -B