“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don’t mind, and those that mind, don’t matter.” Dr Seuss – Genius
Sounds simple right? It should be simple, but it is not.
Be who you are say what you feel… If you are like me, that is dangerous, Autism is called a disability, I view it as a super-ability. Things work out very simply in my mind, it is either black or white, right or wrong, stupid or smart, but that is not how the world functions. People live in the gray zones created to suit there own purposes. The surest way to create an enemy is to tell the truth & pointing out the obvious can create all out war. Biting my tongue is not an ability of mine. If you are doing something, especially to me that is not right I will tell you very clearly what it is & how I feel about it. So far it has made me quite a few enemies & few “frenemies” as well. The problem is that I will always say how I feel, I will always tell the truth. My step-father used to beat me into comas, seriously, because I would argue with him & tell him he was mean & bad when he would burn me, or kick me, or punch me, or any other number of unspeakable things he did to me & I refused to cry, I would not cry, it was the only power I had over my universe, over this psychotic man, even as a child I understood the power I had in the truth, when I had nothing else. He still hates the truth, I still tell it. We are taught to “watch what we say” but that lesson never stuck. I don’t go out of my way to hurt people for no reason, but I am going to tell the truth if you ask me a question, so if you REALLY want to know if you look like you are having a mid-life crisis because you are dating someone 25 yrs younger than you, well DUH of course you are or worse yet you are so insecure that a person your age intimidates you & you just can’t handle the competition a mature person would bring to the table. If you want to know if you should get rid of the numb nuts who is kicking your butt & stealing your money… Do you even have to ask???
Now here is where the genius comes in…
Because those who matter, don’t mind, & those that mind, don’t matter: When all of this nonsense started first with another rescuer, & people were spreading rumors that she was telling them, & people were stealing my dogs & blacklisting me, it hurt my heart because I was still dumb enough to believe that my fellow rescuers were “Saints in Skin”, I found out after 2 other rescuers tried to destroy by calling AC on me every day, & again stealing dogs from me. I found out that no matter what you all yourself, if you are a trouble making miserable person that is all you are. The beauty of it is that these kinds of people’s garbage usually backfires on them. The 2 latter women were calling Animal Control on me pretty much every day that animal control was already at my house. How is that for instant Karma? The other woman, if she would’ve realized WHO I was she would’ve come up with a better lie, she accused me of being a drunk & drunk driving while doing transports so in this state if you accuse someone of committing a crime while doing their job it is an automatic win for a slander & libel suit & when you send them a cease & desist letter & they email over 150 people after that over & over again well that pretty much wins the whole case for you. The only person that hurt me, was one of these women, I kept telling AC they could call her to find out what kind of a person I was & how much I cared for my dogs, the AC officers felt so bad for me that they bent over backwards to help me because they knew the truth about who was calling. As a matter of fact they didn’t tell me until the day I was moving, & even then they didn’t want to. Here is what I learned, the people that I cared deeply for & that I admired, stuck by me, the people who mattered are still there, are still here & oddly enough there are 2 women that believed all this & we went around & around, but once they figured out the truth, they have become the best allies & friends I know, & yes there were people who didn’t want to “like” me after all the garbage & drama & now I couldn’t or wouldn’t ever want to imagine my life without them.
It’s that curse blessing thing. This situation with Everett AC has made me a very bitter & hateful person, it has made me angry, & it has made me hard hearted to a point. To the point that it has made me stand up for myself, to become the little girl I used to be, the one who would look my step dad in the face all the while a fist is coming towards my face & say you are wrong. Before I would never sue anyone, I would not even fight, I would just walk away, seriously I have bee in 2 car accidents, & BOTH times I broke my back & I never sued them, I have lost a child because I was given the wrong medication while pregnant, still didn’t sue. Some one almost murdered me, I was dead on the scene, & was revived en route to the morgue, still did NOT sue. Well guess what? I am tired of forgiving & forgetting, I am tired of people who think they can do anything they want to me & get away with it, & I am tired of lying pathetic people. Maybe Everett AC, & these women will THINK before they start their crap, before they try to destroy someone’s life.
I quit being a “victim” when I was 12 yrs old & left home, somehow, I slipped back into the victim mentality again, then I became a Minister & hid behind God, the turn the other cheek mentality… Then I realized something… Religion is just another way to hold people hostage, to control others behaviors, the most righteous people I know are ATHEISTS!!! I am not kidding, they have no fear of a vengeful & jealous God reigning down hellfire on them to “make” them do the right thing, they know the difference between right & wrong, & they choose to do the right thing, simple. I realized something else, I believe in God, I believe in right & wrong, I also believe that God has bigger problems than to listen to me whine about the same thing over & over again, I pray for something once & then wait for God to show me how to accomplish it because God will help them who help themselves & somedays when your lucky he gives it a little push in the right direction, or sends his wingless Angels to help you. I have been blessed with many many many Angels
As for being who you are & saying what you feel, that is the only way to weed out the ones who matter, & care, & the ones who don’t. We all want to “belong” we all want to be a part of a group or people, but sometimes it’s not worth the cost.